Natasha’s story
I became pregnant after a short time of trying in August 2023. It happened quite quickly, which was surprising to us. But we were so happy!
I struggled with some bleeding at around 8 weeks, which was scary. I had several trips to the EPU, including a reassurance scan which confirmed the pregnancy, and we saw our little baby for the first time which was absolutely amazing.
It came to my 12-week scan in October. It was what the sonographer described as a “technically difficult scan” due to the position of my baby. They were unable to obtain an accurate measurement and NT screening. But no actual issues were spotted, so we were happy and announced to our families who were over the moon.
A couple of weeks later we booked a private scan to try to obtain some better measurements. It was there the sonographer said he thought there might be a problem. My amniotic fluid was low, and my baby was very small. They had not grown much at all since the 12-week screen a few weeks previous. I was given a report and told to refer myself to the Fetal Medicine Unit.
From then on we went for several scans, every 2 weeks. Each time we were told they were concerned about my baby. They are too small, have an echogenic bowel, only one kidney, heart defect, talipes, flexed limbs and issues with the placenta.
I had a quad blood test and an NIPT which all came back low risk. I thought maybe I just had a small baby and the Doctor was mistaken, as my baby’s position was always tricky to scan, so maybe their view is just compromised?
I was then sent to another Fetal Medicine Unit. After a lengthy scan and them looking through my blood and hormone level results, we were told they were almost certain our baby had something called Triploidy; a rare chromosomal abnormality where the baby has an additional set of chromosomes. 69 instead of the normal 46. I asked the professor, “So what does this mean? It’s ok, you can be honest with me”?! He said, “It’s lethal. Your baby will not survive until full term. The only way for us to really know for sure is to do an amniocentesis”.
We had previously declined an amnio due to the risk of miscarriage but were told that the risk was 0.05%. After some time alone, we decided to go ahead, as this now seemed like the only way. The procedure was straightforward, and we were told we’d receive results in 3 working days, but due to strikes and it being the Christmas period, it could take a little longer.
We were devastated. We got home and later that night, my waters broke. I went to A&E where I was admitted, and given a special room with my husband for bereaved parents to stay in. The next morning the doctor came to see us. I’ll never forget what he said, “You have two options. Either we induce the miscarriage, or we wait for it to happen naturally, but the longer we wait, there is a risk you will contract sepsis and become very unwell”. My heart broke. I was desperately awaiting a third option. Whatever happened, our baby would not survive.
A day later we decided to have the TFMR. I was 20 weeks pregnant. I gave birth to my baby girl, Nina on 23rd December. We got to spend quality time with her until we left the hospital on Christmas evening. Leaving the hospital that day was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. Watching the midwife take our baby away in a little coffin, ready to go to the morgue. Walking out with our memory box and basket Nina was placed in, while others walked out with their newborn babies in car seats. I cannot describe the heartache. The consolation of the pain of childbirth is that at the end of it, you get your baby. Instead, my arms are empty.