Faye’s story
My first pregnancy made me aware of ARC and all the work they do. We were so happy to be having a baby and waited for our 12-week scan and then told friends and family. When we had our 20-week scan, our world changed forever. The sonographer held my arm as she said, “I am worried about this baby.” We had to wait two weeks over Christmas and New Year until we could see the specialist, when our worst fears were confirmed. Our baby Francis had Sever Hydrocephalus – where there is fluid all over the brain which puts pressure on the brain and causes irreversible brain damage. We were given a lot of information, facts and figures, and had a decision to make. We went home and talked about it. We knew that, for us, this wasn’t what we wanted as the prognosis was so bad that we couldn’t see a happy ending.
In the weeks that passed I found ARC and posted a lot on their parent forum. I felt like I could post exactly how I feel and there would be someone who understood me and would be able to support me. In the months that passed, I was able to support others on the forum, sharing in their heartbreak and helping them. I joined the ‘TTC’ (Trying to Conceive) chat and then the ‘Due Date’ chat when I was lucky enough to get pregnant the next time. I really found this safe space so important.
In the years which have passed I now have two children (Lucy, 6, and Henry, 4). I feel so fortunate to have my living children but remember Francis all the time and celebrate the life he had and the love he gave us. I have had personal struggles with pregnancy, PTSD etc. When I went back to work with HSBC after Henry, I found out a friend had a miscarriage. I wanted to support her and help but I didn’t know how as I hadn’t personally been through this.
It was then that I looked at my employers’ internal resources and found Journey Employee Resource Group. Journey is there to support colleagues on their pathways to parenthood, whatever that may look like. They host a range of events throughout the year covering many topics and create safe spaces for colleagues to connect and seek guidance. Journey have been a force for change for improving policies and benefits and bringing external peers together at industry level on what is such an important topic.
In 2024 I organised an event for colleagues about the results and decisions parents are faced with during pregnancy. I reached out to ARC and Jane and Katy were able to support the event and be there to share the work which ARC does and how it can help parents. It was a really emotive event, with both myself and a colleague sharing our personal stories and hearing from Jane about how ARC can help. The feedback from parents listening was overwhelmingly positive, and this marks just the start of the relationship between ARC and HSBC.
I would like to say that my journey at times has felt impossible and it will never leave me but the support of family, friends and organisations like HSBC’s Journey and ARC has been invaluable.